The compulsive buddha

The middle path is often the best alternative it is said...and yet to me it has always contradicted at some level to committing to action - I mean how can you succed without full committment? Will moderation in that be right at all?

Personally when I look at my own situation though, I need to regulate my moods. It is a medical necessity rather than just a choice - so I am aware. I monitor how I feel in a detached manner (or atleast try to) and also regulate it...to that extent its the compulsive buddha.

I duno if given a choice I'd take this - I have always loved to live life at the maximum...letting joys be ecstacys and feeling the pain also deep within...thats what I was... and I think thats what reached a peak and its unsustainablity broke it down....

The challenge really is to be grounded and then experience all the joy and grief there is to- to me the experiencing of these at the deepest level made me feel more human, more alive...

However the middle path is also not as bad - its living in awareness of my moods rather than being swayed by them...

So for now I can call the compulsive buddha as a wise consequence, a great choice!